My RL love life is a dud. But in Second Life, it's become quite active... and promising.

First there was David. I mentioned him before. He's in England. He's 12 years younger than me. But it was that "first romance", if you know what I mean. Things happened too fast. And it's hard to have a romance with someone who is has a 6 hour time difference. Frankly, it's no good for him to be on at 2am to see me at 8pm my time (he has a lot of medical problems). We discussed it. And I realized something - David is a "romantic". Sort of "in love with love" - despite the fact it might not always be the right thing. We're still friends though. And I'm always telling him to go to bed, and he says he's talking to a girl... nowhere near the same time zone.

Then there was Marque... well, there was ALMOST Marque. I liked him. He was closer to my age. He was closer to my time zone (Indiana). He's also Jewish. But there was kind of a "vibe" that just didn't feel right. I slowly pulled it out of him... he was divorced once with a son... and still married with a 6 month old daughter. Then one of my SL friends asked if there was anything going on between us. I said no. She jumped all over him and they've had this on again, off again relationship (let's just say that my friend is "no bargain".

And now, there's Gary... and this is something totally different. He's only 3 years younger than me; he's Jewish; he's in Texas (Lubbock, so 5 hours away, but still in the same area); he's willing to move to Dallas. Most importantly, we have a lot of things in common. Science Fiction, fantasy, similar music... and there's a real connection. I met him through the SL Synagogue. We're taking things slowly. But this relationship has a chance to become something real outside of Second Life. Oh... his RL name is the same as one of my sims characters... and shares the same first 3 letters as my favorite comic book character (so right now, I can claim I have my own Gar ;) )

I spoke to Ava... a friend of mine who is a tarot card reader. She said this relationship has a real chance if we don't rush it. She also said David shows up in my reading as "the child" - still friends, but very immature. Very true.

I'm more relieved that the torment known as "Christmas music" is over.

Well, Hannukah is over and done with. I spent a pleasant night in Second Life with the new "man in my life". I'll post more on him later, but in short he's only 3 years younger than me, currently lives in Lubbock, TX, is Jewish, and is single (meeting almost all of my criteria for a guy ;) ). I helped him work on the basement of his SL house. We went to a contest ("Best in Red and Green") at Solace Beach, where I won for best outfit, and where we spent the night dancing. I chatted with both SL exes (well, David is an "ex" - Marque is really a "would have but never happened - I need to do a post on my SL guys) - we're all on speaking terms. Then spent an hour cuddling with my guy at my SL house while we watched the waves from my window (I have the most incredible view of the ocean from the window of my Second Life house).

In Real Life: I had a typical day with the middle schoolers. Decided not to pursue PowerPoint project #2 in lieu of giving a test this week (yeah, I'm crazy). Decided to tell the kids that classes with 95% passing rate on the test will get either cookies or cupcakes on Friday (day before break - 80% passing for my class of 6, and 90% for the class of 10). Made up 20 certificates for the electives team, laminated them, went to the school holiday party (which was a waste of time - 1 room in a restaurant, not enough seats, you had to pay for drinks, and I was lucky to be standing next to the hot snacks when they came out because they were gone and that was that). Came home to bickering parents and gave them their Hannukah presents. Didn't get anything from them, but Mom promised she'd buy me the bottle of Harajuku G that I wanted.

In Second Life: Put on my Hannukah neko outfit. Checked out the menorah display at the SL Synagogue. Hit a few Midnight Mania boards and the "lucky candy cane hunt" at one site. Went to a club for "best in sexy neko" (in my Hannukah outfit - mind you, there wasn't much to the outfit ;) ). Gary came along (one of the SL guys I know ) I won the ladies side, which were gift cards to a place that had something I wanted. Decided to try my luck and another club I go to was having "best in neko". Gary came along too. It was a 3 way tie for first prize, and I got 333L. It was late by that time. Gary headed off, I decided to get that outfit I wanted. With my gift card I would have only been able to get one part (the demon horns/ears combo with demon neko tail - yeah, I go to some clubs that have "best in angels/demons" nights), but that was the part I wanted most. The dress was $300L (more than the gift card). I sent in my request. The shop owner was on, so she filled the request right away. Except she sent me the dress instead of the ears and tail set. She apologized, said "keep the dress", and sent me the ears and tail set. So I got the complete set instead.

All in all, my SL Hannukah was definitely better than my RL Hannukah.

Oh yes... for anyone wondering "Is Gary the guy from England you posted about before?"

No.

That's David. David is fun to hang out with, but the 6 hour time difference makes it hellish. I've also realized that I let things with him get too far too fast. From what I can tell, we don't have a lot in common.

Gary is different. Gary is 4 years younger than me. Gary is studying education (getting his PHd). Gary is in Lubbock, Texas. Same time zone, 4-5 hour drive. And he's Jewish. I'm taking things slowly with Gary. So far we have several things in common, including Science Fiction, Comic books,, slightly crazy Jewish parents, comedy records... I'm taking things slowly with Gary. I don't want to rush things.

Yes Sara, we know you're married to Gil.

We don't need to be reminded every episode.

Now shut the fuck up about it.

I don't know if anyone around here remembers me discussing my long-term, long-distance romance. It started in an online RPG, lasted 3 years, was very serious, and ended when, after his dad died, he decided he wasn't ready for a committment. He was 9 years younger than me... and he was in Canada while I'm in Texas.

I think I mentioned I got involved in Second Life for professional reasons (the International Society of Technology Educators has a meeting group there). And now, I think I'm falling for someone online... and he for me.

So, what's wrong with this?

1. He's in England.
2. He's 13 years younger than me.

He's really sweet, and we've sort of connected. He got jealous when I was dancing in SL with someone else (the club owner dances with all the ladies). I'm sure he's really interested in me. Tonight I couldn't get to a place earlier, so he IMd me that someone else had jumped into the dance module. Apparently he got worried about me getting upset, and PMd a mutual friend at the same site. She seems to think things could work out between us.

But I don't know. I know I'm emotionally vulnerable. I'm 40. And I don't know if I could handle another long distance relationship with a younger man who might decide he doesn't want to relocate to Texas (and I can't leave) and might decide that he doesn't want a long distance relationship.

I took a doctor day today. Mom had to have her PT/INR test (bloodwork for those on blood thinners). Dad had a visit with a new oncologist (his got a job as head of a hospital in New Jersey), and I had an appointment with an orthopedist to see what is wrong with my hand.

Mom's test was standard. Run up to the cardiologist, wait about 10 minutes, get her finger stuck, blood dropped onto a device, her blood is OK. Dad's visit was OK. We all liked the new oncologist. Interesting point... he said that a lot of Dad's old oncologist's former patients were coming to him. I have a feeling that a lot of people didn't like the "replacement" (or didn't like the fact that it seemed like the cancer center was affiliated with a different hospital now).

We killed a couple of hours by getting lunch and getting my mom's hearing aid checked, then went back for my appointment. First of all, the doctor didn't take an x-ray. With my foot orthopedists, first thing was an x-ray. Second, I didn't like his assistant. Third, I don't think he listened to EVERYTHING. My primary complaint was the pain when I touch the joint inside my pinky, I feel like someone is stabbing me with a skewer. He said I have "trigger finger" (which is why my knuckle locks) and said he thinks the problem is "tardy ulnar pleursy"... which seems to be "everything" (finger, wrist, arm, and hand pain), and I should have a shot. Now... I'm driving... I've never had this kind of shot... I'm not going to risk a shot (especially on a weekend). I told him I didn't want to go to Rosh Hashonah services after getting a shot in case I had a reaction. I'm pretty pissed though. We had to make one other stop, and while I was waiting I looked up both "conditions" on my cell phone (not an iPhone or a Blackberry - it's a Pantech slider phone). Neither one addressed the kind of pain I'm having in my finger.

Oddly enough, Mom didn't seem to understand why I wasn't "happy" with my diagnosis. First of all, no x-ray. Second, the main problem wasn't addressed. Third, he wanted to give me a shot (oh yes... and a sleeping brace for my arm to keep me from bending it under me when I sleep - last time I wore a sleeping brace for plantars fasciutus, I woke up in the middle of the night and threw them across the room). I think she finally understands why I don't accept what the doctor said. You know, if it was something like when a doctor wanted dad to do a test requiring him to drink that barium solution, she freaked. She's having kittens about the idea of a thalium stress test. But me not wanting a shot, and not thinking the doctor was addressing my problem properly? God forbid!

Oh yes... first thing that "should" be done for "trigger finger" is a splint for 4-6 weeks, not a shot. Plus the pain in my arm started nearly a month after the finger pain.

I said it was going to be my last on the last one, but this brought back a flashback. When I was in the 6th grade, my friend Corey and I made up our own radio station - KDUM. We used to record our own segments on an old tape recorder. I remember one thing I came up with was based on the David Frizzell song "I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home" - so I made up "Warren Wino's Home Decorating Service."  I think somewhere, buried in the boxes of old tapes, I have a bit of us doing this.

That's why I originally wanted to study radio/tv, before I got railroaded into advertising.

If I could have my own radio station, I'd do 24 hour comedy (loads of Weird Al, Ray Stevens, Christine Lavin, and others). I also would love to do an "all Jewish music" station. I mean, there's all these Christian music stations in my area... why not one for Jewish music? I could actually guarantee NO CHRISTMAS MUSIC! ;D

Peppermint tea. It works.

I better stop before I pass out on the keyboard...

I don't know about cancelling plans for a party, but I do believe in the clashing astrological signs. I mean, I'm a Leo living with a Scorpio married to a Sagitarrius. If that doesn't say something about sign interactions, then you haven't read my journal. Oh, and Linda Goodman's "Love Signs" depicts my parents to a "T".

I want to get stuck in an elevator with Dan DiDio for two hours... so I could ask him WTFH he's been thinking about the direction of Titans books since 52 (not to mention about various other comic related stupidity, like killing off the Dibneys)

"Help, I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!"

So, yeah, I survived the first day. I think the "worst" of it was that I have about 18 students that already had computers in 7th grade (I think Joyce had about the same). Oh yeah... and my digital clock is missing. I have a bad feeling that I accidentally left it on the wall, and it must have walked. Meanwhile, my numbers are sort of odd. I have a couple of really big classes, and a couple of really small classes. But I'm up since 5:30, and I'm dead tired.

Meanwhile, I think the guys and girls on "Dating in the Dark" are phoneys. They go through this whole "want to get to know" thing, then they finally see the person and decide "ew, not what I want." "I like petite blondes". So what are you doing on this stupid show? Though I'm actually surprised that the guy who likes petite blondes did come out to see the "thicker" brunette.

Of the few that decide to go on to further dates, I'd like to know how many actually stay together. I doubt any of them.

Don't live at home during college - go to a university FAR away from home, and don't move home after graduating. You'll never escape!

My favorite teachers were my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Corbett, my 7th grade English teacher Mrs. Moore, and my 10th grade English/Public Speaking teacher Mr. Cottingam. They were awesome.

On a separate note, we spent the morning in meetings, and then the Career ed teacher discovers that all 3 labs are going to need to be in use for Wednesday training. My assistant principal said we could go get the equipment connected up during the afternoon session (lots of numbers that really mean diddly to the tech teachers (thankfully I got some ROTC students to help plug the cords in and move tables). Later (after meetings) my principal came by the hall to talk to the Spanish teacher (one of his pet teachers). He commented that he didn't see me at the afternoon session. I told him they were supposed to be using the labs for training and the AP gave us permission to be getting the computers ready in case we had to call tech support. Everything is working in the lab except for one monitor, which the screen was turning blue (not the blue screen of death - just everything was tinted blue). After I plugged in all the headphones, I checked out the monitor and discovered that the plastic cover on the wire connecting the monitor to the CPU was split in 3 places. I shut it down, reported it to the AP, and will have to get the tech person to report it (and it's a replacement monitor... and we're supposed to get the new lab sometime this school year).

Mom is in panic mode over all the things I didn't get done before going back to work. My room is still a disaster. I get cleaning done, I don't finish, I mess it up... and I really don't give a shit. It's my room. No one else should be obsessing about it.

Frankly, it's been too hot to work on the porch and in the garage. That's not my fault, and I'm not getting up at 5am to work there.

I'm helping in the rest of the house where I can. But if she's not going to be cooperative on things, like filling out some paperwork, there isn't much I can do.

June and I haven't done our birthday thing. I want to go see Ponyo, but I know psychomom will hold me prisoner because of the room and stuff not completed.

Yeah, if I could clean the way I feel things need to be cleaned, it'd be done. 90% of this stuff would be thrown out. I can't throw things out, because in her opinion, most of it needs to be shredded or saved. Heck, I'd invest and hire a professional organizer... "but the house isn't clean enough".

First I'd use whatever to pay off any debts the parents incurred over the years to relatives. Then I'd give 1/2 of the remainder to my parents, with the stipulation that they move into separate senior apartments in different complexes, that mom gets her teeth taken care of and dad gets his hip replaced (and I'd have the house all to myself ;) ). I'd give my sister about 2/3 of the remainder with the stipulation that she divorces her husband FIRST, then checks into a medical facility to get her weight and health under control. Finally I'd give the last third to my friend June so she can get her life back on track.

Note that nothing goes to my brother. He doesn't need it. He has his reserves. Neither he nor his family really has any concern for the rest of us. I mean, I realized that if me or my parents walked down the street and came across my niece and nephew, they wouldn't know us, and we'd barely know them.

I really don't feel like my family appreciates me. I'm running myself ragged with this whole thing with Dad. My brother is away on a cruise. I'm trying to manage the food. I'm trying to make sure we're eating, even though I'm dead tired. I already "manage" mom's pills (I fill up her pill box weekly so she gets the right doses), and now I'm going to have to manage Dad's as well (my sister is convinced Dad took too many hydrocodone - and the hospital doc recommended that Dad take Celebrex instead for his hips).

Dad came home tonight. I was too tired to cook, so I picked up dinner from Boston Market. He gave me a hard time over the plate I gave him. I asked him what pills he took, so I knew if he had his antibiotic and neurontin (for his trigemninal neuralgia). He gave me a headache about how many of each pill and which pills specifically he was given. So then I wound up calling the hospital and tried to figure out what he took. Then I had to call the pharmacy to find out what he should eat with the antibiotic. Then I go and give him some juice and crackers. Finally I bring him the pill and water. He's looking at the hospital menu (let me tell you - this was practically a gourmet menu - I had a piece of cake that Dad ordered and didn't eat and it was amazing!). He said that he should have taken advantage of the menu when he was there, but he didn't feel up to eating a lot while he was there. THEN he turns around and says to me "Can you make me something from the menu tomorrow?" 

I went into my room and lost it. I can try to keep peace for him with Mom. I can try to keep her from losing it with him. I can run around and try to make sure he's getting his meds right so he doesn't wind up in the hospital, but he can't understand that I don't appreciate his sense of humor.

I think the only person who comes close to appreciating me is my friend June. I understand what she's been going through while being out of work and dealing with the only parents I've seen come close to mine in craziness. So I've been trying to help her by looking up job stuff (she didn't have the net for a while and had to go to the library to use it), and I try to find things that she might be interested in. She seems to appreciate it.

Thank God school starts back on the 17th. I'm going to have a hellish week of dealing with the parents and the house (I know Mom is panicking because I'll be at work and she'll be alone with Dad... and she's having fits that my room isn't clean yet and really, I don't give a fucking shit about it). I'm looking forward to being out of this hell hole for about 10 hours per day.

At the rate things are going, though, I'm going to wind up on tranquilizers.

I'm sitting in the hospital writing this on my new cellphone. Why am I in the hospital? Dad.

Yesterday Dad's face was bothering him and he claimed it was his teeth. His face was blown up on on side. Then he started to get lethargic. We thought it was lack of sleep. 15 min later, he tried to get up and could not even sit up under his own power. I called 911.

We're now waiting for the doctor. The emergency room doc suspects a mild stroke.

Update:

After the MRI, they ruled out stroke (thank God). Dad's going to spend another night at the hospital. Because of his leukemia, they don't want to take a chance that any infection from his teeth has spread to his body, and the cultures won't be ready until tomorrow.

I'm home now, but we're going to go out again probably in 15 minutes. I should wake Mom, but she didn't sleep last night (I got about 2 hours, and tried to sleep when we got home now, but I couldn't).